You Can Do Hard Things
Hey Beautiful, You Can Do Hard Things
I know you’ve heard the saying that credits character building as the reason for hard things happening in life. Whatever. I don’t think it’s that deep frankly. Here’s the way I see it:
Hard things happen because it’s part of the natural cycle of life. But here’s the other thing I’m convinced of (but sometimes have to remind myself):
I can do hard things. And you can do hard things. We were born to do hard things. Every fiber of who we are, how we are built - physically and mentally and in every other way - is a powerful reminder that, as women, we were made to do hard things.
But before I go any further, let me call out that amazing woman who tries to do everything for everyone, and in the process wears herself out.
A Word to the Woman Who Takes Care of Everyone Else But Herself
I’m a two (2) on the Enneagram, and an ENFP on the Myers-Briggs Scale. That basically means I’m an amazing, nurturing, intuitive hot mess.
It also means I’m wired to support and look out for everyone else’s needs/wants before I realize my own physical, emotional and spiritual needs. In fact, it’s nearly landed me in the hospital a few times.
Once I got used to the sound of my own internal voice and the ticking of my own body clock, I could look back and see how many times I needed to cry but held it in because I thought it was the noble thing to do. I began to recognize the signals my body had been trying to send me indicating it was overloaded, dehydrated and undernourished.
Eventually, I shared what I was experiencing with someone who loved me enough to just ask me one powerful question - in a crowded restaurant filled with people I knew, and people I wanted to know.
It took that one question, the answer to that question and the really ugly cry that followed for me to begin walking a path towards healing and wellness. I can do hard things. And Beauty, you can too.
The reality is, Beloved, the way you are wired is in many ways your gift to the world. But if you are broken in pieces and worn down due to neglect (from others or from yourself), what’s the point? So here is my question for you: “what is running yourself ragged - physically and emotionally - costing you”?
If you are at risk for neglecting your own needs or you have neglected yourself long enough that you are considering self-harm, please hear me clearly - you are valued and worthy of getting help and support. You don’t have to go it alone.
Please contact your Human Resources department for a confidential referral to your Employee Assistance Program, reach out to your pastor, therapist or a trusted friend. Below are some additional resources that can help you get connected to help.
Contact information for crisis centers and mental health support:
Befrienders Worldwide https://www.befrienders.org
International Association for Suicide Prevention https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres
International Suicide Prevention Wiki http://suicideprevention.wikia.com/wiki/International_ Suicide_Preve/ntion_Directory
Mind & Body Christian Health Group: https://www.mindandbodygroup.com
Your Already Have Evidence That You Can Do Hard Things
You’ve lived long enough to have some things happen to you that have left some scars, created some wrinkles, carved out some cellulite and caused a few gray hairs.
You may have even nearly had some things kill you. Me. Too. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. I’m so sorry for what has hurt you. AND you’re in good company. We may not have the same experience, but we share a common spirit.
And if that’s not enough to remind you that you have an overwhelming body of evidence that you have already done hard things, check your head. All those thoughts and ideas - right or wrong - have gotten you to here. OK, so we all need a perspective check now and again. And sometimes we have work to do to grow, change and adapt.
But here’s what I know: our harshest critic is the chic in the mirror. Cut yourself a break and take a look at the evidence that you already have that you are in fact a bada**.
“Doing hard things is not about being Superwoman. It’s about being your own woman.”
— COACH KAREN R. HILTON
The roles we play in life can cause us to juggle multiple things all at the same time. Just remember that there is a season to everything.
Yes, you are a #Boss when it comes to being able to handle a lot. But mastery of any kind requires a depth of intention, commitment, focus and action. It’s okay to say (to others and to yourself) “no” and/or “not now”.
It took about 24 months for me to disconnect from some of the responsibilities that were getting in the way of me seeing what God needed me to see in my own life. At first I was terrified to say “no” to those who had expectations of me, but eventually I began to realize that I had a list of expectations from others (most well-meaning) but I hadn’t made room for myself on that list of expectations.
Sometimes doing hard things requires doing less, not more. You’re welcome.
Doing hard things is not about being Superwoman. It’s about being your own woman. It’s about embracing all of who you are - the one who can cry or speak up.
Being your own woman is about being the one who can press forward in the face of adversity or opposition, or stop when necessary. It’s about being that one who can pick herself up and find a new path, learn a new skill or find ways to provide for herself and her family. Being your own woman is about forming new relationships, letting go of ones that are toxic, setting healthy boundaries and forming new habits. Or maybe for you it’s about going back to school at 50 (or whenever), beginning chemotherapy, starting a business or (re)building your family.
Listen, my Queen, whatever it requires, you can do hard things. Whatever life has handed you, you can dig through any amount of rubble to find the life you want to build.
You can do hard things. I know you can.
About The Author
Karen Hilton is retained executive coach, speaker, organizational strategist and Vision Coach, based in Atlanta, Georgia. She founded Rock Your Vision as a way to equip and inspire professionals and entrepreneurs to do life on their own terms. Rock Your Vision will help you get clear about your best next steps while leaving fear, excuses, mistakes, and confusion behind. Ready to Rock YOUR vision?
